A POST TO PARENTS ON HOW TO HANDLE YOUR CHILD COMING OUT AS GAY

I recently came across this post on Pink News and it got me thinking about my own coming out. It wasn’t terrible, but a response like Jack’s would have been more empowering for me knowing that I had my parent’s total support, because they knew me or so I thought. Who I have sexual relations with and being offended by it, is not knowing me. The person I am is not defined by who I sleep with. An LGBT child’s choice for a life partner is also not a reflection of how good or bad a parent raised their child.  How you as a parent respond to your child’s coming out as gay is ultimately all that really should matters.

It’s not about you the parent.

It’s not about what the rest of the family or neighbours will think.

It IS about you as the parent accepting your child for whom they truly are. Supporting them as they grow in their own acceptance of their sexuality. Love them unconditionally. 

Be there for your child.

What parents need to appreciate and understand is that their gay child/ren don’t suddenly “become gay” out of choice. Who in their right mind would choose to be bullied, live daily in fear of their lives, be sidelined and ostracized because of who they truly are? Would you really in your sane mind choose a life where you’re constantly picked on and considered an outcast and an abomination? 

I know I certainly wouldn’t, we are not programmed that way! 

I take my hat off to this father who took Twitter by storm with this tweet @jackp593″ on Friday 16 August by saying, well check the tweet below and decide for yourself. He embraced the news from his son. He was fine that his son is living his authentic life. He didn’t judge him. He didn’t try to change him. He LOVED his son. 

My son told me he was gay last night and I’ve never felt so happy for him and proud of him! 🌈

— Jack (@jackp593) August 16, 2019

I just wish there were more parents that would respond in the same manner when their children come out to them as being Gay, Lesbian, Trans or just ‘different’ for that matter. Reading some of the comments in response to this father’s post, many agree so it seems I’m not alone.

With a great supportive dad he will be just fine.

— Dr. Mike (@EmergMedDr) August 16, 2019

You won't know the positive impact your acceptance and love for him will have on him and his sexuality over the long term. Your parental response is so important for your son's future sense of self esteem and general mental health. I wish my parents had responded like you.

— Teacher Si 🏳️‍🌈 (@Dr_Strange_Pork) August 16, 2019

This next comment hit home for me, Why? Because it’s so true for any child dealing with coming out to their parents. A child keeping their sexuality a secret from their parents is huge and extremely stressful, but with open communication between parents and children it can be eliminated, I believe. Without it, so much is lost and misunderstood by both parents and children alike. 

Parenting done right. Speaking from personal experience, the relief when you come out and you are accepted is huge, it's like a massive weight being lifted off your shoulders. Thank you.

— Dreadlocked Tigger (@the_leo_holmes) August 17, 2019

I’m in a mixed-race relationship with my husband Darren. Although our relationship is not a secret from either of our families, the impact that 1. we’re a same-sex couple 2. we’re mixed race 3. we have a child that is also mixed race is a huge issue for part of our families to this day. It’s sad that they choose to focus on something that really has no meaning, instead of appreciating the individuals that we are and embracing a new culture that really in the bigger scheme of things is no different from their own. It’s sad that they choose to live in denial and alone, instead of as a family and miss out on so many wonderful and loving moments. 

I’d like to think that your lovely, fatherly response to your son will give support to his partner too. Love (family as well as romantic) wins 💖

— Helen Whittaker (@WhittakerHelen) August 17, 2019

Photo sourced via Pexels.