DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER PARENT AS A TEAM?

Darren and I were brought up in two different parenting environments, duh. Needless to say, I was under no illusions and knew that our parenting styles may be different once we became parents. My parenting style is more rigid, whilst Darren’s is more relaxed. Although at times we seem to be grinding incorrectly when it comes to parenting, our yin-yang styles seem to be working. 

Our son further confirms this by regularly reminding me that I’m so strict, while Darren is the fun dad. I’ve always known I would be the more demanding parent, with stricter boundaries. However, don’t for a second think that Darren is all fun and doesn’t set expectations for J to meet, he just goes about it in a much more “fun” way.

This quote I found kinda encapsulates parenting and the relationships we attempt to build with our kids.

“Relationships are complicated no matter what style of parenting you choose.” – Mayim Bialik

Although our parenting styles may differ, I do find that we meet each other halfway…. most of the time. There are times that I cringe at Darren’s methods as I am sure he does mine, but ultimately we attempt to listen to what our son needs and identify the direction needed. If Darren begins to address the matter, I listen and do my best to wait until he is done before I add my own two cents, but it’s never to shut down what the other parent (Darren) has said. He does the same, thankfully! It’s all about parenting as a “team”.

How We Parent

1. take the lead from each other
2. take elements from how our parents parented us and we liked
3. take elements from our parents’ parenting styles and have attempted to enhance them

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, thankfully it mostly works. At least for now, it does seem that way. Don’t downplay the other parent when they are parenting. I believe it only creates confusion in the child. Who is right, and who is wrong? Who do I listen to in these instances? It’s essential that as a parent you do your most damn to follow through with the lesson. 

Asking your child to behave in one way, but then as a parent, you do the exact opposite defeats the message and lesson. It applies to both parents when this is the case. The key here is to admit to your child when you have erred, you’re human after all, and even in the humble moment with your child, therein lies a lesson in humility. You make mistakes. You own up.